Olken

No pongo las primeras 101 reglas porque ya estan en otro post. Con algo de tiempo lo voy a ir pasando a español para que todos lo puedan disfrutar.... 1. Denim and leather went out with Saxon. Silk and steel is the new thing. 2. If you do mix genres, power metal is still the dominant type. (e.g. blackened power metal) This is largely because power metal is infinitely more epic than the others styles, but also because "empowered" death metal just sounds stupid. 3. Not everyone in the world is fortunate enough to have a couch to slay. Sing a mighty hymn of remembrance for these brave souls before you leap into battle with your furniture. 4. Even if you don't know anything about international politics, you can still write stories about the international relations of magical kingdoms. 5. By "international relations", I mean "war." Nobody wants majestic steel anthems about trade embargoes. 6. When giving interviews, be sure to mention that your musical influences include Thor. 7. Openly religious themes are generally a bad idea. Writing extremely vague songs about 'destiny,' 'fate,' 'time,' and other such metaphysics is a much better way to go. 8. Re-release your entire catalogue with a new bonus track in Japan. Then make everyone else pay three times as much for an album they already have for the one B-side and the cover of a Helloween song. 9. If you covered a Helloween song from "Pink Bubbles Go Ape" or "Chameleon," please do the world a favor and die. 10. Fireworks are epic. Be sure to refer to them as "Dragon's Breath" or "The Great Flame of Dirty Laundry Smiting." 11. A note on fireworks: don't get yourself set on fire like James Hetfield. True metal warriors can play with fire without getting burned. 12. Include as many vowels in your name as possible. Ideally, it will be the same name as the magical kingdom you sing about. 13. Gettysburg was not a magical kingdom. Shame on you, Jon Schaffer! 14. Naming your band Spinefarm, Nuclear Blast, or Steamhammer will not get you a contract. It will, however, get you plenty of internet traffic. 15. And a cease and desist letter. 16. Or a copyright infringement lawsuit. 17. They would make great album titles or stage names. "On bass, the legendary thundering giant of mighty low-end music, Steamhammer!" 18. Promo photos come in two types: standing around in T-shirts looking sullen, or basking in the glorious light of the universe holding swords up high, dressed in robes fit for a king. 19. Music videos should be shot in the snow. 20. You should also be shot in the snow for making such crappy music videos. 21. If this proves problematic, just record the band playing the song in a warehouse, forest, or room full of water. 22. Why do you play? For the king, for the land, for the mountains, for the green valleys where dragons fly, for the glory, the power to win over the dark lord! 23. Not to mention the right to write an album based on a crappy 80's fantasy movie. Why isn't "Willow" a five disc series yet? 24. Sonata Arctica is not "ice metal." Power metal is the mightiest descriptor that can be bestowed upon a band; there's no need to thin the blood by making up a new subgenre. 25. ESP and Jackson will provide your guitars. 26. Gotcha! Like anybody's actually going to sponsor you… 27. Never change. A sequel should be sonically identical to its predecessor. 28. Step one: loincloths. 29. Step two: mountains. 30. Step three: live like barbarians in the wilderness. Get in touch with nature, kill to eat, and let the power of the dragonflame burn in your heart! 31. If you actually DO feel the power of the dragonflame burning in your heart, I'd recommend Tums. 32. Narration is a great way to fill in those parts of your epic saga that are better expressed in prose than in song. 33. Hire a competent narrator, though… nobody has yet, except for Rhapsody finally wising up to hire Christopher Lee. 34. No, Christopher Lee will not work on your album, too. Level up a few times, and maybe then. 35. Iron Maiden is the father. 36. Dragonforce is the Son. 37. Tolkien is the Holy Ghost. 38. Trigger your drums, unless you are a man-sized Speedy Gonzalez. (I would make a joke about Speedy Gonzalez explaining why all the Brazilians are in power metal bands, but then I'd sound like an ethnocentric jerk. Remember, kids, true warriors come in all colors, sexes, and magical species.) 39. Play everything really fast because it's more epic. Dragonforce, therefore, is the most epic band possible. 40. Think of some epic sounding name for your genre like '+1 Extreme Operatic Dragonslaying Symphonic Melodic Epic Heavy Hollywood Power Metal of the Mighty War Gods of Finland.' 41. You are definitely not plain 'power metal.' 42. Hansi is God. 43. Singers aren't allowed balls unless they are Hansi, because he is God. 44. You must sing; they don't have rap in Middle Earth and real elves don't growl. 45. Orcs, however, make excellent guest vocalists to fill in the growling niche. 46. Make sure you have Stratovarius, Helloween and Iron Maiden listed as your influences. 47. Listen to Nightfall in Middle Earth every day. 48. Watch your Lord of the Rings DVDs at least once a week. 49. If you watch all the extended editions back to back, you can consider yourself epic. And unemployed. 50. Read Lord of the Rings every month or two. 51. AND the Silmarillion. 52. For your English literature class, write your final thesis paper as a comparison between Tolkein and Blind Guardian's interpretation of his works. 53. Make sure everyone thinks you are gay. Armor, loincloths, and face-paint (NOT corpse-paint) all add a lot to this. For the ideal model, find some pictures of Ronnie James Dio, the mightiest man in the history of metal. 54. You are definitely NOT gay. 55. Irrelevant to whether you're gay or not [which you aren't] you fancy Tuomas Holopanien AND Tarja Turunen. 56. Love songs are acceptable, but it has to be epic love which involve deaths and hopefully dragons and/or demons. 57. You cannot have songs about sex, that's just not epic. 58. Oceanborn was so much better than Once. 59. High pitched screams are allowed, but they are epic battlecries. 60. Don't ever make decent music videos. 61. All your fans want you to make decent music videos with battle scenes. 62. They will always be disappointed, although they will appreciate the gesture of including a forty-foot tall inflatable dragon to your stage props. 63. Frilly shirts ARE metal. 64. Though not as metal as chainmail. 65. You can't afford chainmail so use grey fabric mesh you bought from a fetish shop. 66. Your stage wardrobe should exude an attitude of "tonight we're gonna party like it's 1599." 67. Draw no distinctions between your stage personality and your normal life. While carrying around your sword in public might draw an uncomfortable amount of attention, it will be great publicity for your new album, "Orgul Silverleaf, Orc Hunter: the Epic Quest, Volume XIII." 68. Fast is mighty, so double kick pedals to exaggerate the speed of your music wouldn't go astray. 69. There is no speed limit in power metal. It's even mightier to start off slow and then kick it to overdrive! 70. Sit at your computer for hours on end drawing up lists of the rules of power metal. It's a guaranteed chick magnet, even if you're female. 71. Constantly buy new albums on Ebay. Imports and international CDs are better, because even though the bands all sound the same, a CD is simply more epic if it has one extra track. 72. You don't have a fan club, you have an army. 73. No, seriously. They've all got swords, too. 74. The band that slays together, stays together. Unless you slay each other. But that's OK, because Varg doesn't play power metal. 75. Tastelessly interrupt your subdued ballad with an obnoxiously loud and completely unrestrained guitar solo. What would kill the song in other genres is necessary here to wake up metalheads who fell asleep while you were singing about stalking your ex-girlfriend with your +2 Camcorder of Invisibility. 76. Your album ought to max out the holding capacity of a CD. You haven't given enough glory to your king unless you have composed a 78-minute epic in his honor. 77. If you find that you can't compose almost eighty minutes of blistering solos and testicle-wrenching harmonies, then you can leave an inexplicable pause of nothing at the end of the CD. 78. For the king, for the land, for the mountains, for the green valleys where dragons fly, for the glory the power to win the dark lord, you will search for the emerald sword. 79. Never tour in the US. 80. Claim that you never tour the US because of passport problems, when we all really know that you just don't want to be anywhere close to the nation that produced Garth Brooks. 81. Make sure that your band is, for the most part, really only one person who happens to have other people who play his music. Your models, as always, ought to be Luca Turilli and Timo Tolkki. 82. Don't be Timo Tolkki. 83. Never produce decent merchandise. Your logo looks cool on albums, but your shirts all look like crap. 84. Women sing. They are not allowed to have any other roles in the band. This is rather unfortunate, as they are the only people in the band who would actually look GOOD with long hair. 85. If you run out of ideas around this point, rehash your first composition. 86. When attending a power metal concert, please check your sword at the door. 87. After enough beer, "Breakfast with Cthulhu" actually does sound like a good idea for a concept album. 88. Ümläuts improve your credibility. Do your best to be born in a country where they are a standard part of your alphabet. 89. Liner notes must either include original artwork, or photos of your guitarist looking like a jackass onstage. 90. Some bands are ambiguously power metal, and instead get categorized as 'speed metal' or plain old 'heavy metal.' While you may enjoy them, if they can't be shameless and unabashed power metallers, then they may not join you on your camping trip. 91. And by 'camping trip' I mean "running around in the woods with swords while singing your battlecries and hoping to find an elf." 92. Think "family friendly." Don't swear, and please refrain from eating your bandmates. See rule 74. 93. Have an intro track. This means "one minute of keyboards that gradually get louder." 94. Instrumental tracks should be limited to one per album. This is primarily because they do not advance your storyline very much, unless your Nordic warrior has to prove himself in a yodeling contest against the dark lord, in which case you really need to write a new story. 95. If you're desperate for an extra B-side, cover an Iron Maiden song. 96. If you're VERY desperate for an extra B-side, cover a Scorpions song. 97. Two-disc sets are epic. Unfortunately, it's usually very difficult for both discs to be good. 98. If you have doubts about one of your friends being a true warrior, ask him to name every project that Alex Holzwarth has played for. If your friend cannot successfully name them all, begin your epic quest in search of all the discs to save your friend from being trapped in an evil dimension devoid of power metal. 99. If you mom walks in on you applying your facepaint while wearing a loin-cloth and a cape, I really can't offer you any help, dude. 100. I still think I ran out of funny things to say back on the other list. 101. You should be proud of your mighty followup, particularly when it is also 101 rules long. Take great pride in the accomplishment, especially because this time there were guest artists involved. BONUS RARE B-SIDE RULE ONLY AVAILABLE IN JAPAN! 102. Record your live album in Japan, because, honestly, where in the hell else are you actually going to be able to pull a good enough crowd for a live album?

Con algo de tiempo lo voy a ir pasando a español para que todos lo puedan disfrutar.... 1. When asked who your musical influences are, say Black Sabbath -- always Black Sabbath. 2. Make sure you don..t sound like Black Sabbath at all even though you said that they..re your musical influences. 3. Make fun of popular music especially Britney Spears and any boyband. This is non-negotiable. 4. When conducting interviews always say the words "@%$", "fag", and "@%$". 5. Accept interviews only from the following music magazines: Metal Edge, Revolver, Alternative Press, Hit Parader, Guitar World, Kerrang! and Rolling Stone. 6. Pay them $50 to mention the word "metal" in correlation with your music, in every single interview. 7. Add another $50 if they are able to invent a new genre dedicated solely to your band -- ie. Death Metal Disco (Static X), Melodic-core (Thursday), Christian Rap Metal (POD). 8. Make sure that at least one of your band members have an existing side project, or at least planning to start one. 9. Ask your mom to go to the nearest "Ross" beauty shop to buy six boxes of Lander hair gel. 10. Use the word "gay" when referring to anything you don..t like. 11. No guitar solos. 12. Your drumming techniques must consist of "bass-snare, bass-snare" drumming only. 13. In order for your bassist to win a "Best Bass Player Award", make sure that they... 14. ...are female or... 15. ...use the "slap and pop" playing style. 16. Jump in the air while playing your guitar, and while in mid-air place the guitar on your side. 17. During concerts, ask your audience to sing along... 18. ...jump up and down... 19. ...put their hands in the air... 20. ...flash their middle-fingers... 21. ...and be careful not to hurt each other. 22. In the liner notes of your album, dedicate it to your parents, and to more than 15 different nu-metal bands with at least 4 bands which you borrowed your sound from. 23. Your second album must be weaker than the first one. 24. Make sure that at least one band member... 25. ...has been previously arrested... 26. ...drinks beer... 27. ...or smokes marijuana. 28. During interviews deny any form of drug-use in your band. 29. Say you hate l**p b****t, then contradict your statement by sticking up for bands like Taproot, Drowning Pool, and Primer 55. 30. When describing bands which you think are good, end every statement with "kicks ass". 31. When describing bands you hate, end every statement with either "sucks dick", or "@%$ sucks ass". 32. Pretend that you..ve been abused as a child and when no one believes you, hold... 32. ...your depressing song lyrics as evidence, and if that doesn..t work... 33. ...donate 3% of your earnings to anti-child abuse foundations. 34. Your record label must be either one of the following (and there subsidiaries): Sony, Interscope, Warner, Geffen, Virgin, Roadrunner, and Island/Def Jam. 35. Wear baseball caps, shades, wallet-chains, or any other fancy-schmancy fashion accessory EVERYTIME. 36. Your pants must be 3 times larger than your original waist length. 37. Say "shaznit". 38. Say "tight as @%$" whenever possible. 39. Pretend that you hate MTV, and say that you detest the playing of your videos without your consent -- but deep down inside you really like the way they promote your music. 40. When meeting up with Kurt Loder and Carson Daly, be sure to meet up with Fred Durst to ask for pointers. 41. Always give credit to Korn and say they brought back "metal" from the dead. 42. Make sure you have at least one female member. 43. Be at every single "Ozzfest" tour. 44. Your t-shirts must be plain black with your logo in front and a teen-angst quote in the back. 45. Pretend that you design your own website. 46. Get Ross Robinson, GGGarth, or Brendan O.. Brien to produce your record. 47. Always make sure that you delay your album release. If it..s scheduled for June 5, move it to July 7. Do this at least twice per album. 48. Ask guest rappers or any member from another nu-metal band to participate on your album. 49. Always whine. 50. Close your eyes when singing to show how "depressed" you are -- ie. Staind 51. Body piercings are a must. 52. Make sure that you have at least one band member that..s bald... 53. ...or have a goatee. 54. Pretend that you hate the world. 55. During live shows, make sure that you dive to the crowd and ask them to return you back. 56. Your pants must be low-waist, and must show your boxers underneath when you lift your shirt. 57. Your drummer must be topless during live concerts. 58. Bite the microphone when singing. 59. Swing the microphone stand while headbanging in unison. 60. Always suck up to the crowd during a live performance -- ie. "its a good day to be here in Los-@%$-Angeles!" 61. Insert the word "@%$" in the middle of two words -- ie. "I like coco-@%$-nut" 62. Zildijan must be your official cymbals. 63. Your guitars must be Ibanez or Fender. Accept no substitutes. 64. Always use seven-string guitars. 65. The more stomp boxes and pedals you have, the bigger the chances of you winning a "Best Guitar Player" award. So get to it! 66. Wear facepaints or masks, and when someone labels you a Slipknot rip-off say that you existed as early as 1977. 67. When someone asks how your next album is going to turn out, say that its going to be the "heavy-@%$-iest album of all @%$ time". 68. Read 67 but add more of the word "@%$" as much as possible for emphasis. 69. Make sure that when it comes out, it doesn..t sound as heavy as you said it would be. 70. Your song lyrics must have the word "@%$" on at least 3 songs. This rule only applies to pretentious "tough-as-nails" bands. 71. Pick fights with random bands to show how "bad-ass" you are. 72. If you intend to copy someone else..s sound -- don..t use any form of profanity whatsoever when writing song lyrics, so the attention of the critiques will be focused on the lyrical content instead of your music. For more information, ask Linkin Park because they are considered as the "masters" of this art. 73. When kids start calling your band "sell-outs", reply that if they were on your position they..d do the same thing as well. 74. When kids start calling you a copycat, say that the band you..re being compared to is one of your musical influences or.... 75. ...its just a coincidence. 76. Make fun of gay people at all times. This is a perfect way to hide the fact that you..re a closet gay. 77. When your parents tells you to go to your room -- go to your room. 78. You must have a studio album out every year. If you can..t pull a studio album in just a year, an album with demos and remixes of old songs will do. 79. Make sure that you get into a scuffle with security on every single concert you partake in to cause a "scene". 80. Wash your sneakers only 4 times a year. 81. Wear clothes from a particular clothing company -- and soon they will ask you to endorse their wardrobe. Perfect choices are Adidas and Puma. 82. Release a video that contains nothing but backstage footage of your band making asses out of themselves. 83. During live shows say that you..re about to perform a song they already know. Utter the first word of the song title then ask the fans to complete the name of the song by pointing the mic towards them. Keep on doing it until they scream the title crystal clear, or if you..ve wasted 5 minutes just getting them to complete the task. 84. Your fanbase must comprise of 90% morons that have usernames on the internet patterned after your band (ie. Mudvayne fans - DeathBloomsDig99) and the last 10% with smart guys that use original names. 85. Your band name must be a mispelling of an original word. 86. When parents start blaming your band for having songs that incite violence, turn the blame back on them by saying "you never spent time enough with your kids". 87. When someone points out the similarities of your music with another band which rose to popularity just recently, pretend that you..ve never heard of them before. 88. Cancel at least 5 of the tour dates you intend to play in the near future. 89. Claim that the posturings of anger and depression in your songs are genuine. 90. Insist that your band is "metal" at all times. 91. Best Buy and Hot Topic must be your core album distributors. 92. Say that you..re going to commit suicide whenever no one pays attention to you. 93. Your idea of being unique is donning black and white facepaint and acting like a depressed troll in your bedroom. 94. Pretend that you like Kittie..s music but in reality you just want to score on at least one member. 95. Say that rule 94 is a lie! Then stomp your foot on the ground repeatedly while screaming "that..s not true! that..s not true!" over and over again. 96. Your first radio single must have clean vocals or at least melodic riffing. 97. Waste your time writing a song dedicated to taking potshots at the critiques and the people that make fun of your otherwise STUPID music. 98. If you are a new band, cover an old 80s song and make it as catchy as you can. Ship this song as your first radio single -- instant success! 99. Participate in as many compilation albums as you can. 100. Strictly no guitar solos. 101. You are offended personally by every single rule written above.

Hace unos mese atras me di el lujo de tomarme un micro a Matamata desde auckland, Nueva Zelanda, para ver el set del señor de los anillos. 3 Horas de ida y 3 De vuelta bajo una, algo molesta, lluvia.... pero creo que valio la pena.Hace tiempo queria armar el post, pero en Nueva Zelanda internet esta algo caro... asi que devuelta en casa lo subo.No hay mucho texto porque creo que las fotos hablan por si mismas.Espero les gusten Resulta que tambien tienen ovejas.....La eterna espera del bus para volver a Auckland